By Christopher Cussat

You may know five-time Golden Globe nominated actress, Marilu Henner, for the diverse and memorable characters she has played on stage, television, and in film over the past four decades.

Whether she is starring as Elaine O’Connor Nardo in Taxi, appearing as Aida Teagarden from Hallmark Movies & Mysteries’ Aurora Teagarden Mystery series, or performing live on stage in her recent return to Broadway as Mitch’s Mom in Gettin’ the Band Back Together, Henner always injects vibrant passion and energy into the roles she plays. But perhaps the most personally important role she has ever played in her lifetime was that of caregiver to her husband during his battle with cancer.

Like sun and moon, Henner and her husband, Michael Brown, orbited around each other for many years before finally coming together. This trend of almost connecting began when Brown was her freshman roommate’s boyfriend as the two first became acquainted at the University of Chicago.

She remembers being drawn to him early on, “Although I felt a jump the moment I saw him, since my roommate met him first, I would never break the ‘girlfriend code’ and I didn’t dare twinkle in his direction.” But they all eventually became really good friends and often would even go on double dates during that time. [Read more…]

By Connie Goldman

For many years, I’ve collected and shared stories of those who have told me their personal experiences and learning. Through the sharing of a personal story, someone completely unrelated to the situation we are in is able to offer a source of comfort and inspiration. My wish is that their stories will bring you, or someone you know, an unexpected gift of both hope and healing.

I sincerely believe in the power of stories. I’ll now share a few short excerpts from some of the longer stories told in my books.

Excerpts from The Gifts of Caregiving: Stories of Hardship, Hope and Healing 

A Different Perspective

Lois will tell you that it’s never too late to heal old hurts, though. We talked about this when I came to visit her. We sat in her charming kitchen in a wooded residential area. Our conversation was about healing, not of the body but of the relationship between parent and child.

I had always had a very difficult relationship with my mother. And here I was thinking about bringing her to live close to me. I had spent a lifetime wanting a better relationship with my mother, but I had no clue how to fix it. We just couldn’t communicate.

I guess I secretly hoped that, living close to my mother, there might be a chance to work on a relationship that had disintegrated or maybe one that never really existed.  Not until I became her caregiver did I realize how much we both needed each other. Building a genuine relationship with my mom during the two years she lived here was a mutual gift that grew from my sharing what life she had left and then participating in her dying. [Read more…]

By Diane Gorgy

This question crossed my mind as my 86 year old mother was talking about her 93 year old sister. She stopped driving at 90 after an accident which involved hitting the gas pedal instead of the brake pedal, and was totally dependent on others for her needs outside of the home.

She had limited mobility and used a walker, so others had to maintain the house.  At a recent family gathering, her daughter-in-law said that she belonged in a “home”.  The family was shocked, and, of course, my aunt didn’t want to go into a “home”.

When is the appropriate time to put someone in a “home”?  My good friend faced this decision a few years ago with his mother.  She had advanced stage Alzheimer’s, was incontinent, lacked bowel control, and needed help for even basic needs.  After several years of caring for her, my friend was stressed out, depressed by the lack of support from his family, and had developed Afib. [Read more…]

By Jennifer Rowe

My mom, Valerie, has a very independent spirit. Despite living in the United States most of her adult life, she typically exhibits her native British demeanor of maintaining a stiff upper life. In my life, I’ve never seen my mom cry until she began to lose her eyesight due to age-related macular degeneration. The loss of her independence and her ability to do for herself affected her very badly.

Age-related macular degeneration is common, affecting over 20 million older adults in the United States. Since my mom was diagnosed over two years ago, I’ve learned that macular degeneration is a progressive disease that can get worse even if it is being treated. That’s what happened to my mom. Her straight-ahead vision became so blurry and dark that she could not see what was in front of her. She couldn’t see the television, read or spot when the water was boiling at the stove. But what upset her the most was her inability to see her knitting to create detailed, complex garments. She’s been knitting since she was a child and even gave lessons at a local crafts store, so this loss was particularly hard on her.

Despite my mom offering little complaint, I could tell that her macular degeneration was getting worse, even while she was getting regular eye injections, because she would ask me for more help. For example, I would describe what the characters on TV were doing during her favorite programs. I also found myself tidying up behind her because she couldn’t tell that she left a mess in the kitchen even after wiping up a spill. She also couldn’t pour milk into a cup of coffee because she would miss the cup. [Read more…]

By Kurt Kazanowski

We all know that judging a book by its cover is not a wise move, and nowhere is this truer than when it comes to finding a home healthcare agency.  What may seem like a great find on the outside could be a disaster waiting to happen if you don’t do your homework.

Consider what happened to Joan and Murray, an elderly couple whose family hired a home healthcare worker to take care of them when they were no longer able to take care of themselves. Over the course of two years, this worker stole $1.5 million from them.

This sad story could have been caught very early on, or maybe even prevented from happening at all if the family had been more proactive and thorough when doing their research into the healthcare provider that they chose to look after their parents. The person they hired sounded great, and the family just assumed that the agency they went to had done everything they could on their end to vet out the worker.  If they had known what to look for, they would have soon discovered that home healthcare agencies are not one-size-fits-all and that there really isn’t a system in place that monitors home care workers. [Read more…]