By Brian Dillon
I am a regular guy who has experienced two bad divorces. I’ve made a fortune and lost it twice to divorce. At my lowest, I was basically living out of his car. Now happily married and financially successful, I want to help save other men some of the same grief.
I’m not an attorney or psychologist, nor am I anti-female. When I was going through my divorces, I would have loved to have found a book by some guy who had been there. My real passion is helping men going through divorce to get their lives back on track.
Typical divorce scenarios look like this: Most of the time, the woman initiates the divorce. As you can imagine, when someone doesn’t love you anymore, that’s hard to take. On top of that, she takes your kids and you have to write a ridiculously high check each month. This isn’t trivial stuff. Some of these men are killing themselves. Things have to change.
My goal with is to help men make their lives better than they ever thought they could be. Every man who has been divorced can benefit from reading my book. I describe exactly what I did to become a millionaire in a very short period of time, starting from sub-zero after divorce.
The tipping point was my second divorce. It was so horrendous that I wanted to expose the system because it is corrupt. More important, as I recovered, I wanted to help these other guys out. They are suffering in silence. There are a lot of guys who never recover. They are still reeling 15 years later, and have never gone on with their lives.
They need to get on an even keel and make adjustments. It’s ten times harder for a divorced guy to become successful than it is for a guy who has never been divorced. Just the financial hit alone can be devastating. This book gives them a strategy for rebuilding their lives.
Part one of the book gives numerous examples of how men are categorically discriminated against by a biased divorce system. I believe in equality, and the divorce laws are far from equal. For example, men are being forced to pay child support for children they didn’t sire. Plenty of men are paying alimony for longer than they were married. Things just keep getting worse: Under a new tax law, men are now going to be taxed on the alimony they pay their ex-wives when it used to be tax deductible. That just adds to their financial burden.
Part two teaches men how to be a total success. This means winning in every area of his life. While there are books about how to be successful, and how to win in different industries, there’s nothing for how a divorced man can be successful. I’ve tailor-made a success program for divorced men. Taken step by step, it’s how to build the life of their dreams.
From feeling lost to having hope
A lot of times, men going through this just need someone understanding to talk to. But when I was going through my divorces, the people in my life didn’t want to talk about it. Guys are more like, ‘Shut up and shoot.’ I want other guys to know that even if they’re getting a raw deal, they will be better than fine. They will be successful. Getting that affirmation is huge.
I learned how to use what happened to me to my advantage. I decided I was going to be successful not in spite of the divorces, but because of them. Some nuggets from the book include:
- Get your mind right. Here’s someone who has been beat down and may not even be aware that he is depressed. I try to get into their heads and guide them into changing their attitude. Get serious about creating a plan to change their future.
Attitude is not just a tactic for success. It’s a way to get back to enjoying life. I wish someone had told me early on that your thoughts manifest into your reality. I go into great detail about how this works and how to control your thoughts. Once I accepted responsibility and decided it was up to me to make things better, things started improving. That spills into every relationship. I’m a better husband, brother and son because I changed the way I think and my attitude.
- Gaining control over stress. Divorce created more stress in my life than anything I’ve ever experienced. Most stress is caused by worrying about what will happen in the future. I used to worry about losing everything. Well, now that it’s happened and I survived it, I no longer have that fear. I learned I don’t need to control anything; I just experience everything. The same thing will happen for you.
- Getting ahead financially. You don’t earn your way to being rich, you save your way to being rich. Live below your means. Learning the value of a dollar will probably be one of the biggest lessons that you get out of the divorce trauma.
- Dealing with your ex and your children. I explain how to control your ego. Because if you are experiencing any discord with your ex, I guarantee you that she will attempt to use your ego against you. Especially if she’s trying to brainwash your kids, don’t blow your top or you are playing right into her hands.
My book gives instructions for how to live successfully and have a great life you enjoy. You begin to understand how one choice can have a domino effect, so you choose wisely. While the principles of success are the same for everyone, “From Ex to Excellence” is tailored for divorced men.” Copies of the book may be purchased on www.FromExtoExcellence.com.
Author Biography: Brian Dillon
When Brian Dillon was in his early twenties, he was earning a six-figure income. But in his thirties, he lost everything in a divorce. He started over and again worked his way up to a six-figure income. Then came divorce number two, which almost completely destroyed him. He almost gave up. Instead, he began questioning and examining the events of his life.
Slowly, he came to realize that it wasn’t divorce per se that destroyed so many men’s lives. It was the inherent anti-male bias of the divorce system. This realization made him even more determined to climb back to the top. For the third time, he started with nothing. He retired a millionaire, while in his early fifties.
He then set two new goals. One: To shine a light on the corrupt divorce system, in the hope that some changes will be made. Two: To provide the men who are victimized by this system the information they need to become wholly successful.
Senior Outlook Today is your go-to source for information, inspiration, and connection as you navigate the later years of life. Our team of experts and writers is dedicated to providing relevant and engaging content for seniors, covering topics such as health and wellness, finances, technology and travel.