I’m 76 Years Old

Updated on April 4, 2020

By Jerry Robbins

I’m 76, for god’s sake

I hardly have time to make a case for cutting me a break

Before the final trip I take
Perhaps it is a note unseemly

But I must come through now cleanly

I never liked all the Thou-shalt-nots

A veritable rule book ersatz
So I’d like to eat more pastryAll the fattening foods tasty

Forget about my cholesterol

Eat French Fries by the bowl
Why bother to brush and floss

If teeth fall out now no greet loss

My shaggy hair, so little atop

No need for me to groom a lot
I’m 76, for god’s sakeI’ll cruise around as on the make

In my brand new red CorvetteBurn tanks of gas without regret
Sit up late to watch TV

No harm to you no harm to me

And if I see a horror show

What’s to worry before I go
At  this age, where’s the harm

In being attentive to youthful charm

Or, the pretty clerk address

Compliment her on her dress
And, why not let me sleep till tenWhy get up at dawn, and then

Just sit around watch the newsDisagreeing with their views
I’m 76, for god’s sake

Can’t you give me just one breakGoodbye, Adios, auf Wiedersehen, and ChouSorry, I must sign off for now
 Doctor’s Orders“Needle in,” the doctor said“This will keep you out of bed. And for a while stay in the houseEvading orders from your spouse.”
“No heavy lifting can you doIt would not set well with you

Nor wiping dishes in the sink

Nor ANY thing she can up think.”
“You get a pass from garbage work

It’s not the work you want to shirkBut orders from me you must  obey

And  stay off duty another day.”
“If she rebels and throws a fit

There is a comeback  proper for it

Tell her I rule, that’s how it is

Doctor’s orders obey, Dear Ms.”

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