By Diane Tao
The moment you closed your eyes I knew. I knew that a chapter of my life, my very best, was forever closed.
Yet in my bleeding heart the need was there, to believe, to pretend, just for a little while longer that everything is as it always was. That I would wake up tomorrow morning and you would still be there, lying beside me, smiling at me, talking to me, needing my care, needing my love.
I know that some day, some time soon, I will have to let go. I will have to keep going and learn to live in a world where there isn’t a ‘you’.
But not now, not just yet.
Because for now I want to pretend…if only just for a little while longer…that you are holding my hand, and laughing with me, as together we reminisce on the good life we’ve had so far.
The day we first met, the day we got married, the day each one of our wonderful babies were born, and as the years went by and we grew them into adults, the day they got married and had babies of their own…babies who are now also adults…all of them…making us so very proud, all of them making us feel that even though we are no longer as young and as capable as before, that our presence still matters, that ‘we’ still matter.
If given a choice, I would do it all over again…fall in love with the same man, make the same choices, live the same life, for better or worst…so allow me to pretend, if only for just a little while longer that you are still here with me at the beginning when it all began.