Fixing Me Up

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By Jerry Robbins

I love my wife she is a dear
And a master overseer
Scarcely does a day go by
She does not my improvement try

If I limp around the house
She is there with her advice
“Straighten up, stretch your stride
Poor posture I cannot abide.”

When I dress in layers many
She is there with help a-plenty
“Pull and smooth that bad lapel
“What’s that on your breath I smell?”

So I must go and brush my teeth
Comb my hair, make it sleeth
Line up my tie, check my fly
Make sure my socks are riding high

The pills upon the table stand
She shakes just two into my hand
“Take these now and do not tarry
Or else you will be very sorry.”

At restaurants she checks the menu
“Here is something good for you.”
No rich food or drink I order
Just salad and a glass of water.

When we are out with others
I don’t mind playful poke
But why, when I start to spin a tale
Must she raise her eyes and loudly croak,

“Watch your grammar and your pace
Check the expression on your face
Tell the truth and don’t embellish
Your boring drone is almost hellish”

Jerry Robbins is a graduate of Gettysburg College (Philosophy major), Yale University Divinity School, and Hartford Seminary Foundation (Ph.D.). He has had 3 books published (Carevision by Judson, The Essential Luther by Baker, and Provocables by C.S.S.), many articles, and over 100 book reviews.