Do We Have Equality When We Stereotype Skin Color

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A quick Google or other search engine glance will show search term “black dildos” as items for sale. In their millions, around 220,000,000 in .37 seconds, in fact. Big deal, there’s plenty of dildos of all sizes, shapes and colors, should it matter if some are manufactured and marketed as “black” do you think? Well, like most things in life, it matters to some people, and not so much to everyone else. Whichever camp you find yourself in is okay with me too. It didn’t matter to me until I did some research for a writing job and found out how much it mattered to some folks, which I found very fascinating.

Would it be more socially awkward if there was a distinct lack of black, brown, chocolate or cocoa-colored dildos in the marketplace? And seriously, where can I get one anyway? Or, is the real issue some people have with the perceived stereotype that if one can purchase an oversized sex toy that is dark in color, then it sends a strong message to the community that all men of color are equally endowed. And does it really undermine self-confidence and self-perception in men who might just happen to be black or of color? 

I know this much, because I’ve since asked the few black people I know and the fewer lesbians the same question. Oh, I also asked my very tall and the people with big hands (all white, whatever that is anymore). I asked them if they ever got sick of the stereotype. And they all (but one) did the same thing, they stared at me blankly, then smiled politely. They had no idea what I was referring to at all.

After a time, my lesbian friend exclaimed, “Oh! When men assume one of us wants to be the man for the night!?” My tall white friend with big hands was less discreet, and he casually remarked, “Well, it’s true, small hands, small dick. Right?” Which is funny, because I’ve seen him naked, and it’s not that big.

Fact is; there’s plenty of regular and small sized dildos available too. And there are many different color options. There’s a ton of folks out there buying the black ones, but just as many buying all the other kinds as well, and some are even shaped like whole arms now! 

When we prefix a person, object or product with color, we make an association that others can recognize. If we do it in a way that is obviously disrespectful, hateful or excluding; it’s called racist. I live in a Vietnamese neighborhood. My landlords are Vietnamese. I don’t usually shop local, partly because I don’t speak/read the language, and it’s easier to buy what I need elsewhere. Plus, I’m usually low carb, so all those delicious sweets and rolls are off limits. Does that make me racist? Does my landlord feel vilified? Do I, for having to answer and pay for lodgings from someone who isn’t blatantly ‘white’? No. Of course not, that would be ridiculous. But if you read the previous statement aloud and replaced the word ‘Vietnamese’ with ‘Black,’ you would be more likely to get some feathers ruffled.

Yet, for some reason, the BBC, Big Black Cock is often cited as being the negative, derogatory symbol of prejudiced feelings toward black men and their fictional hyper-virility and clichéd anatomy. Playboy ran an article just over a year back, which did cover some interesting viewpoints on the topic, albeit some very sinister and obtuse ones that were largely plucked from an even darker part of America’s history. But are these negative stereotypes really what consumers/users, retailers and, most of all, manufacturers are thinking? Or is the black dildo simply as much a companion product to the endless universe of sex toys available, which, by its own existence, is a symbol of human, cultural, personal, and sexual diversity, a testament to the liberal freedoms we share and enjoy as a species?

All of these are rhetorical questions and statements really. There’s no right or wrong answer, and if you feel like you’re being triggered somehow, well, maybe that’s another story too. And in answer to the question in the subtitle of this article. No, we don’t, but I don’t think there’s a clear agenda to undermine anybody’s race, culture or dignity and liberty based on the color, size, type, or name of the sex toy available on the market, or used by anyone who’s of legal age and able to decide what they like and what they don’t. If it’s your thing, that’s terrific.