By Sheila R. Klatzky

Millennial daughters want to grow up.  Their Baby Boomer mothers don’t want to grow old.  That sets up a dance of ambivalence and resentment that can last for years, leaving the relationship in tatters.  So, what can mothers do to promote a healthier adult mother-daughter relationship?  Better communication is one important key.

Here are ten DOs and DON’Ts that can help improve communication between mothers and their adult daughters:

DO find ways to change the way you speak.  Does your so-called “advice” to your daughter consist mostly of criticism?  Do you constantly notice ways she could improve her appearance, her home, her hair?  If so, you are pushing her away.  If she wants your advice, she’ll ask for it.  And even when she does, be careful what you say.  She is probably seeking validation, not a recommendation for change.

DO listen with empathy.  Ask probing, open-ended questions to better understand her point of view.   Try to imagine what it is like seeing the world through her eyes, the eyes of a 20- or 30-something dealing with circumstances and conditions that are different from those you faced when you were her age.

DO be the bearer of good news as well as bad.  It’s ok to share bad news, but don’t let it dominate every conversation.  Find ways to let your daughter know that your life is positive and fulfilling so that she’ll have one less thing to worry about.   If your life isn’t positive and fulfilling, find ways to make it so.

DO ask directly for what you want or need.  Indirect communication may be effective when you want a diamond bracelet from your husband for your anniversary, but it puts an unnecessary burden on the mother-adult relationship when she has to find the hidden message in everything you say.  [Read more…]

By Sue Rice

First of all, congratulations!  Your marriage has survived raising kids, getting along with in laws, illness, money worries – all the things that come at you in life. Retirement is supposed to be the time when you can finally relax and enjoy your golden years, right?  Then why is it that so many retired couples find this time of life to be so exasperating and contentious?

Other than weekends and a vacation now and then you and your spouse probably haven’t spent a great deal of time together 24/7.  

Here are 10 tips to help you make the most of your retirement. [Read more…]

By Tracey Clayton

Spending time with their parents is very important for kids, but spending time with their grandparents can be equally important and beneficial. Grandparents can awaken interests and emotions in kids that no other relative is capable of, and the connection children can create with someone that much older than them is definitely something that will shape up their personalities.

There is nothing like a good story

Grandparents are always full of amazing stories and children love to hear them. It is always fun for kids to imagine their older relatives as kids and listen to their adventures when they were little. Of course, with wisdom that comes with years, grandparents are bound to tell the most engaging stories that will always have some good moral that kids will pick up on, especially if they know that someone close to them actually had that experience and that it is not just talk. Basically, by listening to grandparents’ stories, children can make their first step of learning from other people’s mistakes and mischievousness.

Truthfulness can be learned from someone trustworthy

Grandparents are usually softer with their grandchildren than parents and therefore a bond of trust can easily be created between them. If children know that they can always tell something in confidence to their grandparents they will gradually develop the ability to be more open and honest with others, especially since grandparents will always seem understanding but fair, and explain when it is necessary to share the particular secret with parents. This way, kids will feel safe while at the same time learn the importance of telling the truth. Of course, there is nothing more fun than having some innocent secrets that only grandparents and kids would know. [Read more…]

A recent research survey commissioned by Bask (a leading provider of tech services, advice and resources for seniors) found that 90% of seniors see personal relationships as important in maintaining a rich and long life – but 82% wouldn’t try online dating because of online security and privacy concerns. Further, many seniors don’t know how to effectively use technology to reach out to the ones they love.

The survey further found that:

• 90% think having a companion helps people live longer, and 86% think having a companion helps people to age in place (stay in home) longer
• That said, 82% would not use online dating because of online privacy/security concerns
• 49% would consider a video call from a loved one a romantic or loving gesture, yet 63% do not know how to make a video call
• 31% would swap their Valentine’s Day dinner plans for a tech related product

Jim Dunn, Bask CEO, explains, “Personal connections are on everyone’s minds in February. At Bask, we’re looking at how seniors use technology to create and nurture these connections. Our survey confirmed a growing trend we’d already noticed. Seniors want to take part in the digital world, but if they lack the know-how, they feel wary of new technology. A person’s level of skill or confidence shouldn’t stop them from taking advantage of all that technology has to offer, including online dating and networking. Our research affirms that seniors are open to using technology to forge deep, personal connections. So, our goal is to provide members with the simple, patient tech support they need to make a FaceTime call, write an email, or send text messages. Just call us the digital Cupid!”  [Read more…]

Navigating the modern dating scene is a constant challenge for younger generations, let alone for boomers. For those over fifty, 21^st-century dating can be an intimidating experience that looks nothing like familiar 20^th-century romance. Here are a few tips to combat the sense of uncertainty you may be feeling as you embark on this new chapter of your life:

1. Reevaluate your deal breakers.

With decades of experience under our belts, we tend to develop a long list of deal breakers that help guide our romantic decisions. But if your standards are so high they’re beginning to starve for oxygen, it may be time to reevaluate. Hold on tight to your must-haves, but don’t let your deal breakers get in the way of experiencing someone new and unique.

2. Don’t get caught up in the speed of social media.

Social media technology has quickened the speed of communication, and relationships can now progress much more quickly than in the past. While it’s understandable to want to move things along faster than when you were in your twenties, the risks of moving too quickly don’t diminish with age. You and your potential partner have more life experiences to share, more family members to meet, and more entrenched habits and personal quarks to expose! If social media is moving things too quickly for you, try taking the relationship offline for a while.

3. Don’t give up… there’s more out there.

Whatever your age, dating isn’t easy. But with the emergence of online dating and an increasing number of connected, tech-savvy boomers, the pool of potential romantic interests is larger than ever. Don’t let a few failures deter you from staying out there. Be confident, be committed, and keep trying until you find the right person for you. [Read more…]

By Dr. Deepak Kapoor, President of Advanced Urology Centers of New York

Did you know 73% of individuals between the ages of 57-64 are participating in sexual relationships? Studies documented in the New England Journal of Medicine also show 53% of people ages 64 to 75 and 26% between the ages of 75 to 85 are having sexual intercourse. These active seniors may face medical conditions that inhibit or make sexual activity more problematic.

At any age, sexual relations can be challenging due to health and emotional factors. Physical obstacles such as erectile dysfunction, urinary tract infections, stress incontinence and sexually transmitted diseases impact healthy intimate relations among seniors.

Erectile Dysfunction (ED)

Erectile dysfunction affects an estimated 30 million men in the United States. Commonly defined as the inability to achieve and or maintain an erection, it is caused by a reduction in the blood flow within the penis. Depression or side effects from medications including diuretics, antidepressants, antihistamines, or non-steroidal anti-inflammatories, can cause erectile dysfunction.

[Read more…]

By Melissa Stevens

The relationship between a grandparent and a grandchild is indeed a unique one. And giving gifts can fortify that relationship, make it stronger, especially if you do not see your grandchildren so often because they live in a different town or state. In today’s world which develops so fast every day, one can consider slowing it down, and taking a break – and using this break to dedicate oneself to the only thing that matters in life – the family. Here are some great and meaningful gift ideas that you can give to your grandchildren.

Family tree

Maybe the greatest gift you can give your grandchild is a sense of belonging. You can start by telling him/her about the family history, and especially if it is a long one, then tell stories about their descendants. A lot of people have in their possession a family tree, but if you do not have it, you can make it by doing research, talking to the priests in your town, etc. If you want to make the process more fun, you can invite your grandchild to assist you in it, and the two (or more) of you can do it together.

Toys

If your grandchildren are small, then a perfect gift would be a toy. But if you give them educational toys (such as construction kits, building sets, board games) which are proved to be among the top things for the development of a toddler, you will show that you care for them and want to make their fun time educational as well. Open their imagination and make them curious.

[Read more…]